18 May 2009

Oh my stars

A brief summary of life since Friday, with stars:

THREE STARS. Didn't do Write your a** off day, not on Friday, and not on Saturday, BUT I did manage to squeeze in about an hour of writing on Saturday morning, while girls were under strict instructions not to disturb me or they would not be allowed to go to the fête de l'école (school fair). That worked a treat. I was particularly keyed up to do some work after not having had my regular Friday routine, and also because my Amazon order came through and I had devoured the first 20 pages of Wanna Be A Writer? by Jane Wenham-Jones. In those first 20 pages are good, practical tips for getting started, which is frankly what I need. (And I hope the next 20 pages are full of good, practical tips for keeping going.)

TWO STARS. Then this morning I pushed myself, hooray, carrying on with the notes I started writing on Saturday. I've started to doubt who would want to read the story, but am trying to ignore that because if I start to listen to the Doubtman I am done for.

TWO MORE STARS. These have nothing to do with writing, but I am taking them anyway, for having played a Handel cello duet with The Eldest in concert yesterday. We messed up plenty in rehearsal but the performance came off without a hitch. It was also great to see and hear all the other students of our prof, the lovely Hélène Viratelle, and now more than ever I want to play a tango! Maybe in 5 more years.....

NO STARS. Now I've I just done a very stupid thing and spent far too long immersed in comparing myself to another writer. Consequently I feel like crap. There is no good reason for me to envy this person or want to be this person, so why do I waste my time? Not only is it unproductive, it is destroys my self-esteem. I know there's no cure for love, but tell me: is there a cure for envy? writer's envy? Does anybody else get stuck on this? If so, what do you do about it??


  1. bring yourself back to reality and that you are a great person!! stop worrying about what others will think of your writing. focus on your goals. Keep pushing yourself to be better!

    Now I just need to take my own advice hahahahaha

    Comparing yourself to others is never a good thing for the self esteem but we all do it. Then we have to realize we are all human and not one person is perfect......I, for one, am very hopeful and excited when I hear that you are writing because I think one day....I will see one of those pieces in print and I look forward to that day.

  2. Thanks Patti. YOU are a star!