25 February 2011

A Few Kind Words

I've been having a bit of a struggle lately, as one does. The old refrain of "what's the point" rubs up against a seemingly pervasive ideology that subjects everything to "market forces", defining success in terms of money-making, so that anything that doesn't make money (RIGHT NOW! THIS MINUTE! VIA THE KINDLE!) is not worth doing... Sometimes (this being one of those times) it feels like I have to constantly resist that mentality. You'd think I'd have a bout of it once, like the chicken pox, or a really bad flu, and then be immune to re-infection. But it doesn't seem to work that way.

At the same time I'm clinging to every minute of writing time, as I count down the days to moving house. It's kind of like being in a cartoon, like being the Coyote, and this crack in the desert floor is heading right toward me. And I have to let it hit me because ...well... I have to move house and there's nothing I can do about it. Despair has set in. If the Stages of Grief are denial, anger, depression, acceptance, then the Stages of Moving are something like denial, denial, list-making, despair, boxes. Movers are more expensive than I remembered. People have started wishing me "bon courage".... Never a good sign.

The highlight of my week was the other day, out of the blue, when I received an email from an acquaintance who said she'd seen my two poems in the latest Mslexia and enjoyed them. How wonderful is that? How kind was that, that she took the time.... to send me just a few words of encouragement.  Frankly those words, that email, could not have come at a better time. Thank you C!

10 February 2011

An Ecstasy/Laundry moment*

So I finished the first revision of the first chapter of my NaNoWriMo draft yesterday evening. I know it isn't "perfect", but getting to where I wanted to go felt fabulous.  I went downstairs and informed the girls, "Chapter one is done! Only 29 more to go."

"That's great, Mom," the two of them said. I basked in their encouragement. They even looked up from the television. Then they asked me, "So ... what's for dinner?"

*For more information see "After the Ecstasy, the Laundry" by Jack Kornfeld

09 February 2011

Still life with curve balls

I've finally found my way back to my desk. Post-Christmas, Post-New Year's, Post-2 Week Visit from Parents, Post-A Couple of Slam-dunk Curve Balls, thank you Life! The desk is still here. Hallelujah, desk. The desk and the window and the world outside staying outside, right where I like it. The writing plan I made for this year is officially out the window too, but the best laid plans and all that jazz, I'll get over it. I feel over it. My god, but I do not thrive on stress and change. If there was any doubt about it, all doubts are resolved as of this morning. I thrive on dull. I thrive on routine. Did I somehow appear ungrateful to the Powers that Be, for dull and routine? Powers that Be, I assure you I am grateful!